"tell me the truth"

Good Morning,

"The Truth", welcomed or un-welcomed. We are taught that we should speak the truth in love. As I ponder that statement, it dawned on me...Is the truth something that is so painful that it must be wrapped in love. We are told that the truth will set us free! Could it be that before we can truly be free, the truth may hurt for a time of healing; after all, didn't the surgeon just puncture a wound. How many times have we said these words, "be honest", 'tell me the truth" and when the answer came...we didn't like it very much. Defensiveness begins to rise, "who do you think you are" You're not that great yourself...the person on the other side...You told me to tell you the truth, this isn't about me, its about you. None of us are perfect, if someone pokes at us, we can easily poke back, but that defeats the purpose of hearing the truth. Truth, like correction is designed to release something needful and good, something that has been hidden or avoided.

Spending time with teens in particular, I know that a trust must be established before you can speak truth or correction. One must earned the right to be heard, many have a wall so BIG, that the climb over may take sometime. Where do these big walls come from, from disappointments, from people that did not keep their word, from hearing more negative than positive. We are told that God loved us too much to leave us messed up. We are told that we should love like he loved, so I suppose we are charged with the same. Love each other, so no one has to be messed up. (me paraphrasing)

Let's practice some "truth talk" scenarios...

1. This is the third job you were either fired or "let go". I have noticed that all you do is complain, every time I speak to you, you are running late for work. Maybe the problem isn't...

2. This is the fourth time you have been sent to detention, four different teachers have said that you were disruptive to the class. Can all four teachers...

3. Your daughter has quite the temper, the littlest things really bother her. Recently, when we were at  lunch, you really went off on our waitress. Where do you think your daughter gets...

4. You seem to get really upset when people call you selfish, but I have noticed that you rarely go out of your way for anyone that did not benefit you....

Personally, I have been the recipient of many "truth talks" I recall one of my brothers in Christ sharing with me that I should never wear a "particular outfit" again. Yep! just like that! And, I NEVER DID! Another shared with me that I talk too much sometimes, and I had a tendency to say "You know" too frequently in conversation. Now, I can say these are the person's opinion which they are entitled too, but wisdom says, let's see if there is truth present. These may seem like little things, but depending on where a person is when they hear "truth" can be very telling. Fact, getting truth and honesty is harder than it seems. We are so accustomed to telling people what they want to hear, the rare breeds of the "truly honest" have very little friends. Nevertheless, there are certain truths that are "life and death", the difference between ones "success or failure" that must be spoken and if the truth causes us a temporary loss, so be it! (If love was genuinely applied, the person will return with a heart of gratitude)

I have heard the phrase, Feedback is the Breakfast of Champions. I would like to add TRUTH TO THIS BREAKFAST!  Let's love each other enough...

Disclaimer: Written from a person who hates conflict...BUT LOVES PEOPLE DEEPLY!